How to make love to a boson
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, itwill instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and...
View Article10 amazing truths you already suspected
(Volume VII! Part of on ongoing series started back in the bygone era of 2009) —————————————————————————————— Citizens! Lovers! Are you ready? (1) If the migrating sand hill cranes are to be believed –...
View ArticleModeration is for hippies
It’s true, isn’t it? Moderation is a joke. Moderation is un-American. Moderation in any healthy, compassionate sense in this year of our extremely hot and imminently riotous 2013 is nothing short of a...
View Article37 percent of people completely lost
Six percent of Americans believe in unicorns. Thirty-six percent believe in UFOs. A whopping 24 percent believe dinosaurs and man hung out together. Eighteen percent still believe the sun revolves...
View ArticleAttack of the gluten intolerant sex addicts
How much do you think you know for sure? How many of your personal afflictions and torments, ailments and woes are indisputably real, I mean obviously, I mean there is no doubt I feel this way because,...
View ArticleDoom, gloom, shut up and smile
We are not going in circles, we are going upwards. The path is a spiral; we have already climbed many steps. –Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha I do not pretend to understand these furious dichotomies. I do...
View ArticleYou will die itchy and a little fat
American! Are you bored? Jaded by the government shutdown and the squishy Tea Party imbeciles who caused it, but not quite yet completely paralyzed with fear that the world is closing in around you?...
View Article40 billion ways to dance
Every day it’s the same: At any given moment, someone, somewhere is discovering something either quiet or grand, miniscule or momentous, that changes the way we think, the way we hold space, the way we...
View ArticleVelveeta at the end of the world
Did you hear? More than one-third of shockingly not-very-bright Americans – mostly Republicans, Tea Partiers and perhaps a handful of encephalitic waterfowl – outwardly reject the scientific fact of...
View ArticleFine weather for creepy melancholia
I have enjoyed many terrific birthdays in San Francisco. I have, if memory serves and it sometimes does, nearly always celebrated my January birthday indoors, perhaps luxuriating in a fine hotel, or...
View ArticleWe just found 15,000 new mountains. You can’t climb any of them
Because they’re underwater, is why. Because they’re scattered throughout the ocean floor, in vast swaths of rugged landmasses, called seamounts, we’ve never seen before – and, technically speaking,...
View ArticleJim Inhofe and the crazy old man who controls the weather
You sort of expect conservative legislators in a place like, say, Idaho, to be sort of, you know, not all that bright. As in, unsure which blob is Europe, Jesus-was-American, don’t-eat-the-yellow-snow...
View ArticleReligion will be the death of us all
Here’s what’s sure to be a popular idea, widely and thoughtfully accepted throughout the land, calmly discussed during the next presidential debate because America is nothing if not full of sagely...
View ArticleStudy says: Skip breakfast, take some LSD
You’ve been lied to about so many things, haven’t you? Money, God, meat, drugs, sex, gluten, which wine goes best with fish – it’s all a ruse, a set of weirdly hardwired myths we’re trained to cling...
View ArticleCalifornia Water Anxiety Syndrome: Feel it yet?
If you live here, you already know: The feeling is inescapable, palpable, more than a little scary. I’m talking about California Water Anxiety Syndrome (CWAS), of course, that sinking feeling to trump...
View ArticleBehold, the future! Battery powered, totally spoiled and vaguely off grid
What sort of pseudo-pioneering, retro-independent dream do you harbor, modern hipster? Getting your hands genuinely dirty for a change? Unplugging from the mainstream dogma? Moving slightly away from...
View ArticleDenmark or bust! What’s YOUR climate change escape plan?
Do you have one yet? Have you considered what you might do, where you might go, should the climate situation get so dire, so extreme, so hot/cold/wet/dry/stormy/violent/desperate that you’d feel not...
View ArticleHave anti-GMO activists gone off the rails?
invent Plentiful are the takeaways from Will Saletan’s expertly researched, if a bit viciously anti-activist, barn-burner of piece over at Slate on the various absurdities, lies and distortions in the...
View ArticleCoca-Cola asks: How stupid are you, really?
It’s a pertinent question, sadly: Just how dumb are you, average American? How gullible, how blindly trusting of corporate double-speak, of murky science, the idea that companies famous for making...
View ArticleThe coming flood: 10 ways to prepare for El Niño
Sure, you’re hot and dry now. Just you wait. It’s been so long since it rained here in California – I mean really, truly rained, more than a couple days’ worth, more than “Hey maybe I should buy an...
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